Hi Lovely,
Welcome back to Beyond The Beauty.
Firstly, thank you for all the kindness, messages, and support following Episode 1.
Sharing my experiences with anxiety was one of the most vulnerable things I've ever done, but the response reminded me exactly why I wanted to create this series in the first place.
So many women reached out saying they could relate.
So many shared their own experiences...And it reinforced something I've come to realise over the years:
We often think we're struggling alone, when actually there are so many people carrying similar battles quietly behind closed doors.
Today, I wanted to talk about something that completely changed the way I view myself, my mental health, and my life.
Therapy.
More specifically, the things therapy taught me about self-care.
Because if you'd asked me years ago what self-care meant, my answer would have been very different to what it is today.
What I Thought Self-Care Was
For a long time, I believed self-care was all the things social media told us it was.
A bubble bath.
A face mask.
A pamper evening.
A massage.
A weekend away.
And while all of those things can absolutely be wonderful, therapy helped me realise that they are often just the surface layer.
They're moments of care.
Not necessarily the foundations of it.
Because you can have the most luxurious bath in the world, but if you're constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, overcommitted, and ignoring your own needs, that bath isn't fixing the real problem.
You can book the massage.
Light the candle.
Put on the face mask.
But if you're saying yes to everything, putting everyone else's needs before your own, and running yourself into the ground, you're still carrying the weight that's causing the stress in the first place.
What therapy taught me is that real self-care isn't always relaxing.
In fact, sometimes it feels incredibly uncomfortable.
Self-Care Isn't Always Pretty
One of the biggest lessons I learned was that self-care isn't always the things that look good on Instagram.
Sometimes self-care means having difficult conversations.
Sometimes it means disappointing people.
Sometimes it means saying no.
Sometimes it means walking away from situations that aren't good for you...And sometimes it means choosing yourself when every part of you wants to put everybody else first.
For someone like me, that wasn't easy.
I've always been someone who cares deeply.
Someone who wants to help.
Someone who worries about how other people feel.
Someone who doesn't like letting people down.
And for many years, I believed being a good person meant always being available.
Always saying yes.
Always helping.
Always giving.
But eventually I learned something important.
You cannot pour endlessly from a cup that is already empty...At some point, something has to change.
The Guilt Around Rest
One thing I know many women will relate to is feeling guilty when they rest.
I certainly did.
For years, I tied my worth to my productivity.
If I was busy, I felt useful.
If I was achieving things, I felt successful.
If I was helping people, I felt valuable.
But the moment I stopped?
The guilt would arrive.
I should be doing something.
I should be working.
I should be cleaning.
I should be helping.
I should be achieving more.
There was always another "should."
Therapy helped me recognise how exhausting that way of thinking really was.
Because somewhere along the line, I had learned that rest needed to be earned.
That slowing down was lazy.
That taking time for myself was selfish.
That my needs came after everyone else's.
The truth is, none of those things are true.
Rest isn't a reward...It's a requirement.
It's not something we earn once we're completely burnt out.
It's something we need in order to prevent burnout in the first place.
And that was a lesson that took me a long time to truly understand.
Understanding Why We Do What We Do
Perhaps one of the most valuable things therapy gave me was self-awareness.
For the first time, I began understanding why I thought the way I did.
Why I reacted the way I did.
Why certain situations affected me more than others.
Why I pushed myself so hard.
Why I struggled to switch off.
Why I felt responsible for everything and everyone around me...And honestly, that understanding changed everything.
Because when you start recognising your patterns, you stop blaming yourself for them.
You become curious instead.
You begin asking:
Why do I feel this way?
Where does this come from?
What am I actually needing right now?
What is this emotion trying to tell me?
Rather than constantly fighting ourselves, we begin learning from ourselves.
And that's incredibly powerful!
The Things I Thought Were Weaknesses
For much of my life, I viewed certain parts of myself as flaws.
Being sensitive.
Feeling deeply.
Caring too much.
Wanting everyone to be okay.
Being emotional.
Absorbing other people's energy.
I thought these things made life harder... And sometimes they did.
But therapy helped me see them differently.
Those same qualities are also the reason I connect so deeply with people.
They're the reason clients often feel comfortable opening up.
They're the reason I care so much about creating a welcoming environment.
They're the reason I built a salon that feels safe, comforting, and supportive.
They're the reason I genuinely love helping people feel better about themselves.
What I once saw as weaknesses were actually strengths that simply needed healthy boundaries around them.
That shift in perspective was life-changing!
How Therapy Helped Shape Nailed That!
When I look around the salon now, I can see how much of what I learned through therapy influenced the space we've created.
The tropical surroundings.
The calming atmosphere.
The heated blankets.
The quiet moments.
The conversations.
The feeling of being welcomed exactly as you are.
None of that happened by accident...
Because I've experienced anxiety.
I've experienced overwhelm.
I've experienced the pressure of trying to hold everything together...And I know how much it means when you find a space where you can simply breathe.
Some clients come for the treatment.
Some come for the relaxation.
Some come for the conversation.
And sometimes people come because they simply need a safe place to sit for an hour and feel looked after.
There is something incredibly powerful about that.
Because self-care isn't just what happens during the treatment.
It's how you feel while you're there.
It's feeling heard.
It's feeling valued.
It's feeling safe.
It's feeling like you don't need to pretend.
Self-Care Looks Different For Everyone
One thing therapy taught me is that self-care isn't one-size-fits-all.
For one person, self-care might be taking a day off.
For someone else, it might be finally asking for help.
For another person, it might be ending a toxic relationship.
It could be going for a walk.
Turning your phone off.
Having an early night.
Saying no to something you don't want to do.
Booking the appointment you've been putting off.
Taking medication.
Going to therapy.
Drinking more water.
Eating properly.
Getting outside.
Having a difficult conversation.
The important thing is recognising what you need, not what everyone else says you should need.
Because self-care isn't about following a trend...It's about listening to yourself.
What Self-Care Means To Me Now
If therapy taught me one thing above all else, it's this:
Self-care is an act of self-respect.
It's the way we show ourselves that we matter too.
It's setting boundaries.
It's protecting our peace.
It's prioritising our wellbeing.
It's speaking kindly to ourselves.
It's recognising when we're struggling.
It's allowing ourselves to rest.
It's asking for support when we need it.
It's understanding that we are worthy of care, even when we're not being productive.
And perhaps most importantly, it's learning that looking after yourself isn't selfish...IT'S NECESSARY!
A Final Thought
If you're reading this and you've spent years putting everyone else first, I want you to know something.
You matter too.
Your wellbeing matters.
Your feelings matter.
Your needs matter.
And taking care of yourself doesn't take away from anyone else...
In fact, when we take care of ourselves properly, we're often able to show up more fully for the people we love.
Self-care isn't selfish.
It's sustainable.
And that might just be one of the most important lessons therapy ever taught me.
Thank you for joining me for another episode of Beyond The Beauty.
Next time we'll be talking about something many people struggle to explain:
What anxiety actually feels like.
Not from a textbook. But from lived experience.
Until then, be kind to yourself.
With love,
Cat x
Founder of Nailed That!
Because beauty is only part of the story.
